Those who speak of their dogs like precocious kids. Serpell: “I hate to use the phrase ‘child substitute,’ but, well, childless women will go over the top. Guys like a macho dog, a bit of a bully.” Millan: “It’s worse than that TV show Toddlers and Tiaras.” Schaffer: “The flip side is that if people’s dogs won’t come when called, they feel shame and failure.”

*(of people observed)