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Helm: Disqualification
It's not often I feel this way, but after the earnestness of the past 60 seconds, I don't know whether to fall asleep or throw up. The sepia shots of victory, the hey-it's-Morgan Freeman-talking! gravitas amplified by the chorus of children doing that "ahh-ahhh-ahh" thing—it's somehow simultaneously bland and saccharine. Yick.
Kiley: Disqualification
I agree. The Olympic ads in general are lacking oomph. I feel like for all the money spent on sponsorship and media, creativity got short-changed. Thank goodness for Michael Phelps to provide some real story.